I just shed some tears reading about the victims of the Colorado massacre. I can’t fathom why someone would do such a horrible thing. So many people were robbed of their lives just because they were excited to see a movie. One man took a bullet for his girlfriend and passed away. A six year old girl and her mother lost their lives. I’m just hoping that this man realizes what he did and regrets it. God be with those families, including his. I can’t imagine going through anything like that. “An empty chair at all the tables. And I’ll be seeing you when all my days boil down. For now we’ll say good bye. We know it’s not the last time. I lost the best part of my day. This is the last thing I will remember. But it’s better where you’re going anyway.”
Anyway, on another note, today was my last day at Target. Well, not my LAST day. I’m taking a leave of absence, so if I have to pick up a shift here and there I can, and I can also work over the holidays when more money will definitely be needed. It was weird though, because it felt like the last time I would be working there. I definitely will be coming in a lot to shop and whatnot, but there’s something inside of me that says that I will probably not be back. I’m hoping that means that I will find a job before I graduate, but we’ll see.
I know this is going to sound cheesy, but Target really has meant a lot to me. It feels like home to me, you know? I’ve been there so long, and I know that I’m meant to move on, but it’s like saying good bye to your home town. Leaving Columbus was really, really difficult at first, but I soon realized that my place was here, in Indianapolis. I wouldn’t have belonged in Columbus. I feel the same way about Target. I learned so much there. I made a ton of friends, I bonded with guests, bosses, colleagues, and I’ve been blessed to have those experiences. Shit man, I had my heart broken for the first time by a guy I met working there. Then, six years later I became friends with his ex-girlfriend. I grew up so much while I was there. It’s going to be really hard to not clock in and out, or sit in the break room and have random conversations with people, or sigh deeply in appreciation of the quiet peacefulness that I found in the backroom at the end of the night, or cut another pizza, or connect with another guest through a mutual interest, or answer the phone and say, “Thank you for calling Southport Super Target, can I help you find something?”, or to hear the employee entrance buzz, or to walk out into a peaceful night after a chaotic work day feeling like I just survived a war zone. I think what I’m going to miss the most is the bond that I shared with people. Coming through together at the end of a really difficult day knowing that you leaned on each other and you made it through because they were there for you and you were there for them is a feeling I just can’t explain. Because the job we do is more than just a job in so many ways. I think just about every single person that I work with takes pride in their job on some level, and that means that they give it the very best they can. It’s rare to find that, and it makes me want to be a better person. It makes me want to be a better worker, a better friend, and a better human being because you have to learn to rise above the shit that the general public slings at you. And that’s what I love about it. That’s what I’ll miss. More than anything.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. I’m nervous about it because there’s more at stake now. My future, my job, my accomplishments and failures directly affect the two most important people in the world to me. It’s scary to leave that comfortable cocoon that I have known for so long, but I know that it’s time to realize my goal. In roughly one week, I get to take my first step into a classroom that I will have some measurable amount of control over, and I’ll find out if I can, in fact, do this thing that I have wanted to do for so long. That I’m meant to do. And failure is not an option. But I know I can face it all because I have all the lessons that I learned from Target to help me get through it. Change is scary, but I’m getting ready to go forth and make some bigger waves. But I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish that all my favorite team members were going to be there with me. 🙂